So my friends it is time to say Happy New Year… Good bye 2011 hello 2012. In a year that has been full of destruction, war, tax increases, Fee increases, massive layoffs and my Evil Elf suit shrinking, it will be nice to try and start the New Year off right.
So, all together now let’s do the Fitzy’s easy 2 step program of ‘How to start the New Year off on the right foot.
Step one; take a deep breath.
Step two; let it out before you turn blue and pass out.
That is pretty much it, I like to aim small, makes me happy when I can reach my goals. I do have some resolutions for 2012 and here they are.
* I am Perfect don’t mess with perfection (My wife however may have some issues with this one)
* Not to wear Plaid pants until the Scottish Band Bay City Rollers reunites.
* Less Sarcasm (you always throw one resolution in that you never intend to keep).
* Eat less (than a hippo).
* Smoke less Cigars (in the Shower, the soap does a number on my lighter).
* To join the movement to have Nude Yard work outlawed, I think weed whacking in the buff is not for the weak hearted, beside it gives me nightmares thinking of the hedge trimming accidents.
* Be nicer to the wife is a big one this year, especially when she doesn’t think I am funny… I think she is lying, but hey when you fly too close to the sun, your wax wings of humor melt a bit and you end up flailing like a wounded pigeon on the floor. Truth be told she knows I’m funny she just wants me to spread my Funny somewhere else where she doesn’t have to clean it up… Man one pudding practical joke mishap and I get marked for life… dam Pudding Nazi.
I guess all in all I hope you all have a happy, healthy and safe new years and that 2012 brings you something special (but nothing that requires a penicillin shot). Do or say 1 thing that you normally wouldn’t… it will surprise you, the reaction you will get, not that I do that sort of think often, Ha-ha-ha .
Happy New Year to you!
Hugs and all that happy stuff to you all
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Fitzy: Legion of Decency Retired
“No real resolutions were harmed during the reading and construction of this Blog”